Na przestrzeni ostatnich dni dotarło do mnie ponownie, że nie ma chyba czegoś takiego jak przyjaźń damsko-męska. A nawet zwykłe koleżeństwo. Przynajmniej z mojej, kobiecej perspektywy. O ile ów kolega nie ma dziewczyny i jest "czysty" albo ja nie jestem w związku, nie można mówić o bezinteresownym koleżeństwie bez podtekstów. Będąc osobą bardzo szczerą, uważam, że nie warto "mydlić komuś oczu" i, mogąc zaoferować tylko przyjaźń, lepiej mówić o tym wprost. Ale to, jak się okazuje, nie wystarczy. I jedyna znajomość damsko-męska bez dalszych zamiarów możliwa jest chyba tylko z gejem, który powie szczerze (bardziej niż koleżanka), czy wyglądamy grubo w nowej sukience. Albo z żonatym czy po prostu zajętym kolegą z pracy. Chociaż i to nie gwarantuje, że po paru kieliszkach wina nadal będzie on patrzył na ciebie tylko jak na człowieka, a nie jak na atrakcyjną kobietę z fajnym tyłkiem.
I nieważne, czy uważamy się za ładne czy też mamy liczne kompleksy. To nie ma znaczenia, bo każdemu podoba się co innego. Część mężczyzn woli blondynki, część brunetki, inni rude. Jedni doceniają szczupłą sylwetkę, inni raczej okrągłe kształty. Ale zgodnie z tym, jak chciała natura, w jednym mężczyźni są tacy sami - szukają w kobiecie partnerki - na życie, na miesiąc, na noc. A przyjaźnią się raczej z osobami swojej płci. Kobiety, co do zasady bardziej empatyczne, mają koleżanki, przyjaciółki, ale lubią też mieć kolegów. Bo, będąc tego dobrym przykładem, czasem lubimy iść na piwo właśnie z mężczyzną. Pożartować, pośmiać się, poczuć inaczej niż z koleżanką. Wcale nie myśląc o tym, że "może coś z tego będzie".
Pewnie tak, jak we wszystkim, i tutaj znajdą się wyjątki od reguły. Myśląc o swoich obecnych kolegach i takich, którzy przewinęli się przez moje dotychczasowe życie, było różnie. Podobnie rzecz wyglądała u moich koleżanek. Czasem sytuacja była jasna i wymagała szczerej rozmowy, innym razem udawałam, że nie wiem, o co chodzi i czekałam, aż komuś po prostu przejdzie. Były sytuacje, gdy wydawało mi się, że w końcu znalazłam przyjaciela do rozmowy, który absolutnie nie chce niczego więcej. A po czasie okazywało się, że wszyscy - oprócz mnie oczywiście - wiedzieli, że był we mnie zakochany. A swoją niewiedzą złamałam mu serce. Byli (i są) na szczęście i tacy, których nie posądzałabym o ukryte zamiary. Bo, mimo rozmów o wszystkim, na żartach się kończyło. I to daje nadzieję, że matka natura nie jest jednak aż tak silna. Albo po prostu dobrze się maskowali.
Claudia Anticevic By Esperanza Moya For Grazia Spain 23rd April 2014
Over the past few days, it occurred to me again that there is rather no such thing as a male-female friendship. Or even simple companionship of that kind. At least from my female perspective. While this male friend doesn't have a girlfriend and is not "clean" or I'm not in a relationship, you can't talk about the selfless camaraderie, with no subtext. Being a very honest person, I believe that we should not "pull the wool over the eyes to someone" and, being able to offer only friendship, it's just better to talk about it openly. But, as it turns out, it's not enough. And the only male-female acquaintance without further intent is probably only possible with the gay man who will say frankly (more than a girlfriend) whether you look fat in a new dress. Or it is a married colleague, well at least one having a girlfriend. Although it doesn't guarantee that after a few glasses of wine he will continue to look at you only as a human, and not as an attractive woman. With a nice ass.
And no matter whether we consider ourselves to be attractive women or have a number of complexes. It doesn't matter cause every guy likes something different. Some men prefer blondes, brunettes or redheads. Some appreciate slim, others rather curvy shapes. But according to the way nature intended, in one thing men are the same - in a woman they want to find a partner - for life, for a month, for a night. And rather have friends among people of their gender. Women, as a rule, more empathetic, have female friends or bestfriends, but also like to have friends among men. Because, being a good example of it myself, sometimes we like to go for a beer with a guy. To joke, laugh, feel differently than with a girlfriend. At the same time, not thinking that "maybe something will come of it".
Probably yes, as in all things, also there will be some exceptions to the rule. Thinking about my current male friends and those who have passed through my life so far, there were various cases. It was also similar when it comes to my grilfriends. Sometimes a situation was clear and required a sincere conversation, other times I pretended I had no idea what was going on and waited for someone's affection to pass. There were times when it seemed to me that finally I found a friend to talk to, who absolutely didn't want anything more. And after a while it turned out that everyone - except me of course - knew that he was in love. And I broke his heart with this ignorance. Luckily, there were (and still are) some I wouldn't judge to have a hidden agenda. Cause, despite talking about everything, it all ended up with just jokes. And it gives a hope, however, that mother nature is not that strong. Or they were just well masked.
Over the past few days, it occurred to me again that there is rather no such thing as a male-female friendship. Or even simple companionship of that kind. At least from my female perspective. While this male friend doesn't have a girlfriend and is not "clean" or I'm not in a relationship, you can't talk about the selfless camaraderie, with no subtext. Being a very honest person, I believe that we should not "pull the wool over the eyes to someone" and, being able to offer only friendship, it's just better to talk about it openly. But, as it turns out, it's not enough. And the only male-female acquaintance without further intent is probably only possible with the gay man who will say frankly (more than a girlfriend) whether you look fat in a new dress. Or it is a married colleague, well at least one having a girlfriend. Although it doesn't guarantee that after a few glasses of wine he will continue to look at you only as a human, and not as an attractive woman. With a nice ass.
And no matter whether we consider ourselves to be attractive women or have a number of complexes. It doesn't matter cause every guy likes something different. Some men prefer blondes, brunettes or redheads. Some appreciate slim, others rather curvy shapes. But according to the way nature intended, in one thing men are the same - in a woman they want to find a partner - for life, for a month, for a night. And rather have friends among people of their gender. Women, as a rule, more empathetic, have female friends or bestfriends, but also like to have friends among men. Because, being a good example of it myself, sometimes we like to go for a beer with a guy. To joke, laugh, feel differently than with a girlfriend. At the same time, not thinking that "maybe something will come of it".
Probably yes, as in all things, also there will be some exceptions to the rule. Thinking about my current male friends and those who have passed through my life so far, there were various cases. It was also similar when it comes to my grilfriends. Sometimes a situation was clear and required a sincere conversation, other times I pretended I had no idea what was going on and waited for someone's affection to pass. There were times when it seemed to me that finally I found a friend to talk to, who absolutely didn't want anything more. And after a while it turned out that everyone - except me of course - knew that he was in love. And I broke his heart with this ignorance. Luckily, there were (and still are) some I wouldn't judge to have a hidden agenda. Cause, despite talking about everything, it all ended up with just jokes. And it gives a hope, however, that mother nature is not that strong. Or they were just well masked.
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